The Power of Positive Feedback

I was talking to a group of managers about using a powerful feedback process – referred to as EEC – standing for EXAMPLE, EFFECT and CHANGE. It is powerful because it is simple and quick but it does focus on the negative or critical side of feedback ….so now I add another C (EECc) since the praising message should include a statement of what to CONTINUE to do. And this is where my story begins. Many many years ago I had a boss who was quite ‘prickly’, somewhat aggressive and also defensive. He wasn’t easy to give feedback to and so I often avoided the issue and just ‘sucked it up’ as they say. This didn’t help him or me, but it did avoid a deterioration in our relationship. One day I observed him being really skillfull and I happened to comment, saying that what he had done (Example) really impressed me and I would like to learn from him (Effect) and (Continue). He was embarrassed by the compliment and said ‘I haven’t had praise like that for years’. This set me thinking about his usual style and that perhaps his self esteem wasn’t as robust as he made out, thus criticism was seen as an attack to defend, whereas praise would raise his self esteem. For some weeks after this I was careful to find things to praise and in turn I found I was receiving his praise in return ……but it wasn’t fixing some of the problem behaviours I was experiencing. What to do I wondered? Well I was amazed and delighted when one day he commented...

TDTMTD

The phrase a difference that makes a difference was used by Gregory Bateson, a leading anthropologist, to define information. My business is transforming managers from being OK to being brilliant, brilliant to work with and for. And the difference that makes the difference are those small ingredients, in terms of knowledge, attitude and behaviour, which when applied by an individual enable an easy transition and fabulous results. Another way to see this difference might be imagining a glass of water – straight from the tap, glistening and fresh – you take a sip. Next to it is a glass of pure spring water, filtered through ancient rocks and bubbling up in a distant mountain range, you take a sip – ahh. There is a difference, chemically a few elements different and yet it is the difference that makes the difference. Another analogy is the nations favourite baked beans compared to ‘own label’ – why do we always pick the nations favourite. Those who do will choose the ones which have the subtle but important flavour differences, because they are worth it. At The Difference we seek out the differences in high performing managers and encourage individuals to choose which ingredients they will add to their management style that will allow them to stand out and accomplish things with and through their...

Humans Being

This is an expression I have come to adopt as a way of expressing some important conceptual values in what I do. At work, we are likely to see ourselves as superior/subordinate to others, it is after all a hierarchy we work in. But when we think of ourselves as humans I believe we see ourselves as equal to all others in our species and this concept can lead to helpful behaviours. Being equal, we can communicate human to human, respecting all features, diverse or inherited, by position. This leads to assertive and clear communication in all conversations. Also the concept of being – being human means we can be brilliant and also we can make mistakes – to err is human after all. So in this way we can manage others by helping them to be brilliant and overcome their mistakes. Celebrating just being human, simply humans being. When I purposefully think I am just a human, being, I let go of the pressure to perform as others expect or demand. Then more often than not I perform more effectively, with better choices and more authentic interactions. This resonates with others as I work in greater harmony and create better...

Barcelona

I’m about to run a series of workshops on stress management, having just been on holiday in Barcelona I can’t imagine what stress is!    ...

Welcome

Welcome to my new website. I hope you find what you’re looking for and please feel free to contact me.I hope you will visit us often and join in the discussion. Jonathan

The Answer is 42

I have been inspired by the idea from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy – that the answer to the question of life, the universe and everything is 42! It seems ridiculous, even wrong , but it caught my imagination that there is something, an answer, a unifying theory of everything; and searching for it is worthwhile. This also could be seen as the difference that makes the difference, the one thing that when done transforms the whole into something greater; greater than the sum of its component parts and yet still greater than that. I often find this when I’m cooking, there’s that one ingredient and sometimes in just a tiny amount – which lifts the whole dish. And so I’m asking myself – what is that one change, that small ingredient that is my 42! It maybe just a tiny change or a huge shift in my thinking. I challenge you to join me now and take a few minutes to ponder the meaning of your life , your universe…and everything. What one thing, small or large will transform your moment,...